Getting someone connected at church, step by step.
From first visit to known. The five stages most churches walk people through, who walks with them at each one, and where people slip out.
The short version
- WelcomedSomeone meets them on their first Sunday and becomes their shepherd.
- RecognizedThey come back, and someone knows their name.
- ConnectedThey join a group and start making friends.
- ServingThey find a place on a team.
- KnownSomeone on your team knows their story and walks with them.
What getting connected means
Some churches call this assimilation. The person living it would call it finding their place. It is the stretch between a first visit and the day they would be missed if they were gone.
Most churches already have the stages. Fewer have a name beside each one, and the gaps between stages are where people slip out.
Of the people who leave a church, 82% leave in their first year.
New people who stay make about seven friends in their first six months. Those who leave make fewer than two.
Source: Gary McIntosh and Charles Arn, What Every Pastor Should Know.
That is why the middle stage carries the most weight. A group is where seven friends come from.
The five stages
- Welcomed
A first visit, and one person who walks with them.
On the first Sunday, someone on your connect team meets them, learns one real thing about them, and becomes their shepherd for the next six weeks. A guest who belongs to everyone belongs to no one. The week by week version of this stage is in the visitor follow up plan.In ShepA first visit from Planning Center lands on their story as a milestone, or you add them from your phone. Give them a shepherd and add them to your journey.
MilestoneFirst visit, SundayShepherdSarah MitchellJourneyNew to the family, on the step Welcomed - Recognized
They come back, and someone knows their name.
Coming back is a decision, so make sure someone notices it. Greet them by name and remember the one thing. If they do not come back, their shepherd reaches out once, with no pressure, and leaves the door open.In ShepEvery conversation becomes a note on their story and shows up in the activity feed. Anyone on your team can read it before Sunday.
SMSarah Mitchell added a note on James CarterSecond Sunday. Sat with the Coles. Kids loved their class. - Connected
A group, and the leader who invites them.
A list of groups is easy to ignore. Their shepherd brings one group leader in, and the leader makes the invitation. This is the stage where friendships start, and friendships are what keep people.In ShepMention the group leader in a comment so they make the call. When the person joins, mark the milestone, and the group shows on their profile.
SMSarah Mitchell added a note on James CarterLooking for a group with other parents.Sarah Mitchell @Ryan Cole Could you invite James to Tuesday night?MilestoneJoined a small groupGroupsTuesday Night Group, led by Ryan Cole - Serving
A place on a team.
People stay where they are needed. Start small with a shadow day: one Sunday beside someone who already does it. The team leader makes the ask, because an invitation from the person who leads the team means more than a sign up sheet.In ShepGive the team leader a task with a date for the shadow day. When the person joins the team, mark the milestone.
Shadow day with James on the welcome teamDana Brooks, due SundayMilestoneJoined a serving team - Known
Someone who walks with them for the long run.
Think of one person who would connect well with them, and get the three of you together: a coffee, a walk on the beach, something you all enjoy. Never go alone. Every time you bring a third person, they know one more of your people. Over the next weeks that person gets to know them closely, and once they have connected, they become their shepherd.In ShepWrite a note after the coffee and mention the person you brought, so the two are linked as a connection. Once they have connected, make that person their shepherd.
SMSarah Mitchell added a note on James CarterCoffee with James and @Michael Reed. Both coach kids' soccer. Michael is taking him to the game on Saturday.ShepherdMichael Reed
Where people slip out
Nobody leaves in the middle of a stage. They leave in the gap between two of them, when everyone assumes someone else is close to them.
| Between | What goes wrong | Who keeps it from happening |
|---|---|---|
| Welcomed and recognized | Nobody calls after the first visit | Their shepherd |
| Recognized and connected | They get a list of groups and no invitation | Their shepherd and the group leader |
| Connected and serving | Nobody asks them | The team leader |
| Serving and known | Nobody new ever gets close to them | Their shepherd, who brings a third person along |
In Shep, lay the five stages out as a journey. Each person sits on one step with a shepherd beside their name, and when someone has been on a step too long, Shep nudges their shepherd.
How to know it is working
Counting how many people finished a class tells you about the class. Ask three questions about your team instead, for every new person.
- Does someone know them?
- Has anyone talked with them lately?
- Is their story written down?
If the answer is no, that is ours to fix, not theirs.
Run this in Shep
Each stage above is a milestone, a note, a task, or a shepherd on one person's story. Lay the stages out as a journey and your whole team can see who is on which step, on the web and on the iPhone app.
Shep does not score your people. It scores your team on those three questions.
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Questions
- What is the assimilation process in a church?
- It is the formal name for getting someone connected: welcomed on their first visit, recognized when they return, connected in a group, serving on a team, and known by someone who walks with them.
- How long does it take for someone to get connected at a church?
- Plan on six months. Research by Gary McIntosh and Charles Arn found that new people who stay make about seven friends in their first six months.
- Who should be responsible for getting new people connected?
- One person walks with each guest as their shepherd, and one leader watches over the whole road. People slip out between stages, so every stage needs a name beside it.
- What is the difference between follow up and getting connected?
- Follow up is the first six weeks after a first visit. Getting connected is the whole road from that visit to the day someone has friends, a place to serve, and a person who knows their story.